The Insurmountable Wall

The whole time we thought the wall we had been building around us had served for our protection. Never mind that we had been suspicous towards basically everyone to justify it. Suddenly we become aware that we are unable to look across that wall. How did it turn from a protective shield into a challenge to our life?

Anyway, there we are, we reached our own wall. No more progress can be made, frustration sets in. We try to affirm our control of the situation by ignorance: we just turn around and with a wry smirk we walk away from the problem. There is of course the nagging feeling that in case we turned around another time we'd  realize the wall's very calm and sturdy presence. How could we get past it?

Heroic Farce

One image comes to mind immediately, pretentious as it may sound: breaking through the wall! A breakthrough! That's how simple it is. Or is it? We give it a try.  We pump ourselves up and have a good run at it. What a bloody mess!

Funny enough we blame the wall for our embarrassments, as if it had hit us when indeed it was we ourselves who had launched this desperate attempt. Somehow we still don't want to acknowledge the riddle it presented us with. Feels more like many consequential bloody heads. Lots of  backlashes. Plus the justification why this was the right approach while proving the opposite. Anyway, now we got really angry! Now we know for sure that it was the wall that had pounded us and caused us such pain!

Defeat and Remorse

Slow learners that we are, we just try it again, getting the same result. There was no reason for this impulsive action in the first place. Just stubbornness. Now we feel even ludicrous, and indeed there is some qualification for it. As a consequence we at least manage to avoid a futile attempt to trick it. Reluctantly we accept defeat.

Only now it dawns on us that we never thought about viable alternatives. We also never investigated the wall in its consistency. What was it about?

Moving The Wall

As we draw close in a more conscious way, for the first time we really look at it. Then we touch it. And almost immediately we notice something sticking out. We try to move this bit and - oh wonder - the whole wall collapses in an instant. Feeling a whiff of anger about our previous, utterly ineffective choice of violence we quickly bury the hatchet with ourselves.

While the dust settles we now see what was lying behind the wall and move on in a cautious but determined fashion. After a few moments in the newly won space we already forgot the wall and our violent contact with it.

Did we learn something?